We are everywhere and nowhere. Today, not one is not a serial slashie, a multi-tasker, a tentacular social being, touching base with whosoever appears. This is the metaverse that arrives before we know it, and we are at pain to understand its enigma. The metaverse demands that we sacrifice our capacity of being for interactivity and for social capital. FOMO, the fear of missing out, is a symptom only possible in today’s age of seamless connectivity: being everything, everywhere, all at once, is the ultimate expression of virtual presence. But virtual presence as such is as thin and irksome as a push notification no one bothers to read. Swipe left or right, scroll up and down. Nothing else matters.