AQILAH ZULKHAIRY | REFLECTION REPORT: FINAL REPORT BY AQILAH ZULKHAIRY

 
  • FINAL REPORT BY AQILAH ZULKHAIRY A+ Works of Art and RogueArt are pleased to share a reflection report written by...
    FINAL REPORT BY AQILAH ZULKHAIRY A+ Works of Art and RogueArt are pleased to share a reflection report written by...
    FINAL REPORT BY AQILAH ZULKHAIRY

     

    A+ Works of Art and RogueArt are pleased to share a reflection report written by Aqilah Zulkhairy: our first resident for the A+ x RogueArt Library Residency, which commenced in October 2023.

    This residency was shaped around our meeting with Aqilah Zulkhairy, an incoming student of the Visual Arts course at the University of Malaya. Aqilah was a Special Needs Therapist before deciding to pivot into the art world. The RogueArt library collection, forming a substantial collection of texts on modern and contemporary art in Southeast Asia, presented an ideal resource for her at the beginning of this journey. 

     

    I first stumbled into the arts when I was listening to John Green’s podcast, ‘The Anthropocene Reviewed’ where he talked about the works of Agnes Martin. I have never seen any of Martin’s work in person, but I have witnessed the fascination, especially when John described how the paintings cracked him open and made him feel content even when he was not. That fascination somehow turned into a quest for me. Immediately, I felt an urgent need to confirm whether that feeling could actually be true. Week after week, museum and gallery visits then somehow turned into a routine. What began as a desire to chase a feeling became a realisation that I had actually found a home to settle into.

    - Aqilah Zulkhairy, 11 September 2023

     

     

    REFLECTIONS BY AQILAH

     

    Reflecting on my time spent during the A+ x RogueArt library residency, which spanned over four months, I find myself grappling with where to begin this report. The residency commenced at the beginning of a month-long break from my full-time job as a therapist, coinciding with preparations for the upcoming semester in my Master’s program in Visual Art Studies at Universiti Malaysia. The timing felt opportune, yet the pressure was mounting to develop a sensible area of interest and research topic for my postgraduate dissertation.

     

    I have no formal background in art, which made entering the library residency feel like starting from ground zero. And all my previous knowledge on Southeast Asian art was fragmented. Gleaned from sources like podcasts, a selection of art books at ILHAM Gift Shop, and weekend exhibition visits to galleries all over Klang Valley. Consequently, it was not a surprise that my first dive into the library's extensive collection got me feeling really overwhelmed. It became even more jarring when people from the art world came to visit and started to throw me questions like: “What made you decide to study art? What are you interested in? What are you currently researching?”.

     

    And it was in between the conversation that I realised that “I just really love art” as an answer just started to sound so… childish. I found myself struggling to articulate my passion for art in a way that resonates with the art world's crowd. Everything moves so fast here. How do I keep my answer concise when these questions pop up? How do I maintain a precise mixture of passion and self-deprecation so the conversation won’t fall into awkward silences?

     

    Then, the terminologies. Sometimes I take too long to find the right word to describe certain artistic practices, and often I find myself nodding along unknowingly when people start using unfamiliar terms. Or the ones with the letter “X” in it. Juxtaposition. Paradox. My irrational fear of any words that have the letter “X” in it does not really help with the anxieties.

     

    However, as the initial rush subsided, I finally found myself settling into a rhythm. Exploring the library's shelves at my own pace, I get to indulge in the whims of browsing. Some days I manage to finish a book from cover to cover, while other days, I may just simply browse through old catalogs to look at pictures. Some books, I was actually proud to decisively give up on. Then, occasionally questioning whether I was spending too much time perusing rather than researching. The path from one book to another felt disjointed, lacking the cohesive thread I desperately sought to decide on a solid research interest.

     

    The first book that I read was Corridors - Notes on the Contemporary No. 1: Solitude. I don’t know what in the subconscious led me to this book but it turned out to be quite an interesting read. Curated by Michael Lee, it is a collection of texts that explored four types of solitude - isolation imposed by authority, the dreamer withdrawn from society, difference associated with one's sexuality, and the cosmic solitude beyond humanity. A standout for me was Chin Chin Yap’s review of Antonio Vega Macotela’s Time Divisa, a project where the artist documented 365 “time exchanges” with the inmates of a prison in Mexico City.

     

    Intrigued by this work existing between performance and collaborative art, I found myself grabbing the second book - Amanda Heng: Speak to Me, Walk with Me. Published by Singapore Art Museum, it was an exhibition book that documented Heng’s life work, which was relentless in reclaiming and renegotiating a cultural identity threatened by rapid modernisation.

     

    A few inches away from Heng’s book, I stumbled upon The Pating Tlecek Architectural Space: Cerita Rumah Eko Nugroho. It offered a surprisingly seamless transition from Heng’s text with its quiet insight into how traditions—the antithesis of modernisation—might offer a sense of belonging. The idea of “inhabiting” instead of owning. A gentle nudge of where to look when solitude becomes suffocating.

     

    But perhaps the residency was not just about burying myself inside the pages. A community space in spirit, the library received a lot of visitors throughout the weeks. Whether public visitors, artists, curators or art collectors, everyone was kind enough to engage in conversation with me. The inputs shared were invaluable. For example, when artist Chong Yan Chuah came one day to drop off his work, he commented on Zulkifli Dahlan’s book that I was reading and gave a refreshing insight into the artistic language that was employed in Dahlan’s work. Or when art writers come and I get to say things like “Hey, I was literally just reading something that you wrote!” 

     

    So, while I may not have unearthed a groundbreaking research topic or forged profound connections between disparate fields, it was a catalyst for a journey of personal enrichment and introspection. And when my Master’s degree finally commenced in the second month of the residency, I began to see the importance of reading for the sake of reading. To pick up a random book and to immerse yourself in it. Though the neural links between these readings may still be undefined, each book contributes to a growing repository of knowledge, serving as puzzle pieces that will eventually find their place in my future research.

     

    Overall, the library residency transcended mere scholarly pursuits; it evolved into an exploration of the multifaceted nature of creativity. From awkward silences that transformed into shared inside jokes to the joy of sharing snippets from banned books unavailable online, the residency was a testament to the vibrant interactions that fueled artistic expression. Meeting artists who spoke passionately about their practices, their eyes gleaming with enthusiasm, further enriched the experience. Through these encounters, the residency offered a positive observation of the diverse facets that sustain the dynamic art scene in Kuala Lumpur.

     

     

    AQILAH'S RECOMMENDED READING LIST 

     

    1. Corridors: Notes on the Contemporary: No 1: Solitude, ed. by Michael Lee (Berlin: Künstlerhaus Bethanien, 2013)

    2. Amanda Heng: Speak to Me, Walk With Me (Singapore: Singapore Art Museum (SAM), 2011). Artist monograph

    3. The Pating Tlecek Architectural Space: Cerita Rumah Eko Nugroho (Yogyakarta: Daging Tumbuh Studio, 2012). 

    4. Bumi Larangan: Zulkifli Dahlan, ed. by Nur Hanim Khairuddin (Kuala Lumpur: Zulkifli Dahlan Gallery & Teratak Nuromar, 2017). Exhibition catalogue

    5. Krishen Jit, Krishen Jit: An Uncommon Position (Singapore: Contemporary Asian Art Centre & LASALLE-SIA College of the Arts, 2003). Artist monograph

    6. Modern and Contemporary Southeast Asian Art: An Anthology, eds. by Nora A. Taylor and Boreth Ly (Ithaca: Cornella Southeast Asia Program Publications, 2012)

     

    ABOUT THE LIBRARY

    The RogueArt library includes catalogues and publications collected and shared by cultural workers across the region, built up through the many cross-regional exchanges and friendships fostered since the late 1990s (from Valentine Willie Fine Art days through RogueArt’s own 15 years, and ongoing). Its non-borrowing 2000-2015 collection located in the front room of A+ Works of Art is accessible to the public. Library residents will also gain access to their post-2015 collection, now located at the RogueArt office at TwoForty. 

    The A+ x RogueArt Library Residency is committed to the goal of supporting innovative research and experimentation in contemporary art for all.